Wildin’ in Florida

“Yooo, Remember that time you busted yo ass on that swing in Florida??” – Mary

Yeah, I remember. I remember signing up for some harmless fun. A little sway on a swing for a little breeze to beat the heat. Lets completely ignore the fact that I had JUST MOMENTS BEFORE, climbed a ladder that was stuck in a tree. The tree grew, and for years the ladder was stuck in it. “Hey I wonder if it will hold me? What you think the max weight limit is doe!?” I, I mean, It was extremely high, dangerous, and questionable as fuck right. It held me though. The little dangerous moments are the cherry on top of an adventure sundae, as long as no bones get broken. Fuck it. ANYWAY, FLORIDA.

When in Florida, you just do wild shit, it’s law. So. We were hangin’ out, living our best life when I got a little too excited about the horse swing hanging from the tree on the other end of the yard. Mary, the positive adventure seeker she is, encouraged me to get on, and enjoy it. Probably because I’m runnin’ my mouth like an idiot, “OMG! I always wanted one of these! I wonder what the weight limit on THIS is!”

Then I hear “Get on Jane(she might have said Bitch but I can’t be certain, IDK), I’ll push you!” So I hop on like, “YEAH!” Mind you, I’m a whole 312 months old. Let me just show you what my big ass got on real quick…

Back to the story, I get on the swing, do a little bounce to check the stability of the damn thing. “Eh, seems legit,” comes out of my mouth so that was the moment of approval for Mary. She grabs the side of the swing, and with every ounce of strength given to her by the great creator, she pulls the swing and sends me into a spin. First of all, I am/was kinda fat, and I have no balance or self-control okay. I am just SPINNING! Uncontrollably, might I add. In the background, I can hear Mary’s mother yelling something in Spanish. What was she saying? I have no clue, but it was probably something along the lines of “Get your fat ass off that swing before you break it!” NOT SURE THO. After checking with Mary, today…almost 2 years later…Apparently her mother was saying that I needed to stop because we knew what would happen. She, my friend, was right. We all knew. The moment was apparently over in a matter of 15 seconds, but believe me when I say, I thought about every stupid thing I ever did in my life, and regretted it all. Everything led me right where I was at that very moment. Seems like a fun little ride huh?
Let’s assess the damages…

We just happened to catch the whole event on camera, so.. you’re welcome. It was a little fun, since I didn’t piss my pants or break anything! Oh and there’s no blood!
Here are some quick snips of the whole ordeal. Visit our IG @rollinjaneandmary to see the full video.

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On a serious note, we appreciated this story very much. Thinking back on this, it was the very first time we decided to jump in the car together and travel. It was the first time we were both really free to enjoy moments as two adult best friends. It was the first time we had a few “BET YOU WON”T!” moments. We were crossing state lines, going home and we talked about how great everything was. Casually deciding that we would be travelers and eventually see too many places to tell about in one sitting.